Proverbs 3:1-12 My son, forget not my law; but let thine heart keep my commandments:
2 For length of days, and long life, and peace, shall they add to thee.
3 Let not mercy and truth forsake thee: bind them about thy neck; write them upon the table of thine heart:
4 So shalt thou find favour and good understanding in the sight of God and man.
5 Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.
6 In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.
7 Be not wise in thine own eyes: fear the Lord, and depart from evil.
8 It shall be health to thy navel, and marrow to thy bones.
9 Honour the Lord with thy substance, and with the firstfruits of all thine increase:
10 So shall thy barns be filled with plenty, and thy presses shall burst out with new wine.
11 My son, despise not the chastening of the Lord; neither be weary of his correction:
12 For whom the Lord loveth he correcteth; even as a father the son in whom he delighteth.
Skip down to vs 27
Proverbs 3:27-33 Withhold not good from them to whom it is due, when it is in the power of thine hand to do it.
28 Say not unto thy neighbour, Go, and come again, and to morrow I will give; when thou hast it by thee.
29 Devise not evil against thy neighbour, seeing he dwelleth securely by thee.
30 Strive not with a man without cause, if he have done thee no harm.
31 Envy thou not the oppressor, and choose none of his ways.
32 For the froward is abomination to the Lord: but his secret is with the righteous.
33 The curse of the Lord is in the house of the wicked: but he blesseth the habitation of the just.
You Have The Power To Make Or Destroy Your Own Home
You can choose what type of home you live in
A godly home is not achieved by:
1. Marrying someone with money.
2. Marrying someone you can boss around.
3. Marrying someone you went to school with.
INGREDIENT # 1 — A TRUE LOVE FOR GOD
Most people have no idea what love is
Most think love=lust because of hollywood and media programing
Love is not a feeling – – – love is a fact
Love is not an accident – – – love is a decision and a committment
No one has ever fallen in love – – – many fall in lust and infatuation – but not love.
We read in Proverbs 3:27-29 that God is interested in all of our relationships
Our parents, our neighbors – this is shown by Matthew 5:23-24
A true love for God begins by loving God first vs 24
1 John 1:1-3 That which was from the beginning, which we have heard, which we have seen with our eyes, which we have looked upon, and our hands have handled, of the Word of life;
2 (For the life was manifested, and we have seen it, and bear witness, and shew unto you that eternal life, which was with the Father, and was manifested unto us;)
3 That which we have seen and heard declare we unto you, that ye also may have fellowship with us: and truly our fellowship is with the Father, and with his Son Jesus Christ.
If you love God, you won’t have any problem loving your spouse or anybody else.
1 John 4:7-11 Beloved, let us love one another: for love is of God; and every one that loveth is born of God, and knoweth God.
8 He that loveth not knoweth not God; for God is love.
9 In this was manifested the love of God toward us, because that God sent his only begotten Son into the world, that we might live through him.
10 Herein is love, not that we loved God, but that he loved us, and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins.
11 Beloved, if God so loved us, we ought also to love one another.
Because God is love, He is the source of our love for each other
1 John 4:19-21 We love him, because he first loved us.
20 If a man say, I love God, and hateth his brother, he is a liar: for he that loveth not his brother whom he hath seen, how can he love God whom he hath not seen?
21 And this commandment have we from him, That he who loveth God love his brother also.
If you can’t love someone you can see physically – – it is proof that you don’t love God whom you can’t see.
If someone is not loving you properly, it is because they aren’t loving God properly.
If you have a bad relationship with God, you will have a bad relationship with everyone else and there
will be no deep relationships – – – – you will only have people who sympathize with you and feel sorry for you.
This is why a lost person cannot truly love their spouse – – – they can’t properly love anyone.
What does a lost person have in common with a saved person other than a physical body? They have no spirit – – they haven’t been born-again.
So a true love for God will begin by loving God 1st
Then – – – Loving others properly
This is why your greatest need is walking with God
When a marriage fails in divorce it is because there were no eternal values – – – there were only temporal values.
The answer to the problem is not buying her a new dress.
It is a matter of you loving God like you’re supposed to.
If she isn’t walking with God, you buy her the moon – – – it won’t matter – – – if she isn’t walking with God, the new dress won’t make any difference.
If you are walking with God, you will treat her right, regardless of how she responds to you.
The problem is not that the husband and the wife aren’t communicating – – – the problem is that you are not communicating and walking with God.
The problem is not what you are doing as much as what they are NOT DOING. – – – the missing ingredient is God.
INGREDIENT # 2 — SPIRITUAL FELLOWSHIP
II Chronicles 8:11, “And Solomon brought up the daughter of Pharaoh out of the city of David unto the house that he had built for her: for he said, My wife shall not dwell in the house of David king of Israel, because the places are holy, whereunto the ark of the LORD hath come.”
A. She breaks out in hives, nervous, high pitched and mad.
1. This place is holy and she can’t stand it.
2. You fellas need a wife that says, “Honey, what did the Lord tell you to do?”
3. Some wives only back their husbands when the husband is upset with the preacher.
B. The spouse that stays home while the other one goes soulwinning is hurting and destroying your marriage.
1. The ungodly resents the godly – – 2 Corinthians 2:14-16
C. You will fall out of lust – – – – if you don’t have godly fellowship
1. Preaching Conference
b. Visiting a Sunday school Class
c. Visiting a bus route
d. Praying together
e. Reading the bible
INGREDIENT #3 — THE RIGHT KIND OF LEADING
John 8:12, “Then spake Jesus again unto them, saying, I am the light of the world: he that followeth me shall not walk in darkness, but shall have the light of life.”
I have no problem seeing the direction of my life when I’m in close fellowship with God.
The Holy Ghost can lead me spiritually and I don’t have to follow my emotions and feelings and opinions.
WRONG REASONS FOR MARRIAGE
1. Physical attraction
a. If you live by the sword you’ll die by the sword.
b. Every marriage based on physical attraction ends in adultery because wandering eyes refuse to stop wandering. – Prov. 27:20
2. They are ready to settle down
a. They always go to church to find a christian girl they can make miserable.
3. They want out of the home
4. They want to hurt and devistate their parents
a. Essau wanted to hurt his parents Genesis 26:34-35
b. No couple should get married unless both parents are for it.
RIGHT REASONS FOR MARRIAGE
1. God’s Will
INGREDIENT # 4 — THE RIGHT PHILOSOPHY (the way or thinking what you believe)
Ephesians 5:31, “For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.” – – – Philippians 2:5 – Let this mind …
One flesh , this is not the physical union. There are so many things to check out.
Someone from a big family is going to think differently than someone who is an only child
A. PHILOSPHIES YOU BETTER SETTLE ON:
a. Where are we going to go?
b. How often?
c. Are we going to tithe?
2. IN-LAWS (Has she ever cut the umbilical cord?) if you marry her – does her mother come with her?
a. How often do they come over?
b. Who’s house are you going to for Thanksgiving and where are you going for Christmas?
a. Who is the saver?
b. Who is the spender?
b. How often?
c. How many?
1) Are you going to spank?
2) For what?
a. Will your wife work outside the home?
If your philosophies are too different – – you shouldn’t get married
INGREDIENT # 5 — THE RIGHT KIND OF COMMITMENT
A. Ecclesiastes 5:4, “When thou vowest a vow unto God, defer not to pay it; for he hath no pleasure in fools: pay that which thou hast vowed.”
1. When thou vowest a vow unto God – defer not to pay it.
2. You break the vows and it will destroy the work of your hands.
3. There are things you are allowed to divorce over: